WARNING! In you attempt to fight crime with your cell phones never risk your safety capturing data. If you're witnessing a crime in progress dial 9-1-1 and then asses the situation to ensure you safety has not been compromised.

DiscussWireless reported in January that New York 911 services had the capability to accept camera phone pictures in the fight against crime. We did a tongue in cheek commentary on how to fight crime with your cell phone (very popular and many people thought it was hilarious). This time, however, we're going to be funny and offer this:

Top Ten Ways to Turn Cell Phones Into Crime Fighting Machines

1. Obviously the first one, call 9-1-1. Your first option with every situation is always contact authorities.
2. The obvious--pictures. Camera phones are almost standard on cell phones these days. Many can even take pictures inconspicuously; some phones permit you to record while the device is closed (for flip phones). The last thing you want is to witness a crime or fraud and be standing there with your phone pointed to the perp.
3. With pictures comes video capabilities. Yes the resolution on most phones is limited, but it's a valuable record to have. Fact is technology keeps improving and the quality of videos from cell phones is increasing. They are also playing a bigger roll in policing people and even the police. Case in point: the recent demonstrations in Quebec. A video recorder caught undercover cops in the crowd. Initially the police said there were no undercover officers in the crowd. With the emergence of a video of the actual 'arrest' and incident the next day the police changed their statement.
4. Take a message. If you do not have video recording capabilities or can't figure out how to use it then make a note. Text yourself even (or a friend) to get a record of your thoughts, names of witnesses, numbers, licence plates, etc. It's easier and quicker (usually) if you have a nice PDA QWERTY keyboard to type on.
5. Voice records. Not only can you record information at the event/scene, you can also record information for future crimes. Case in point, insurance fraud. Record other aspects other than the obvious, weather, time of day, etc.
6. Not only can phones record information and act as a pseudo-witness, it also acts as prevention. For example, there are many stories about individuals who witness crimes like petty theft and hit and runs on parked cars. They'll actually hurry to prevent the perpetrator from escaping and pretend to be on the phone to the Police to ensure they don't take off. Takes a bit more guts but the cell phone is preventative of escape in this case.
7. Text the authorities with pics and vids. As we said above, many major cities now accept in real time various pics and vids through SMS. In the very least if it's a major crime the information you posses could be used as evidence.
8. Bell and whistles. All phones have tons of cool features that may add protection, help in prevention of crime, and more. For example, cell phone cameras sometimes come with flash lights. The flash light can be turned on to provide a strong light in dark corners. Ever sat in the room with someone and their new phone? A few year ago there was always 10-15 minutes of annoying ringtones while the new cell phone user tested and listened to EACH one. Most cell phone rings are loud and if you have time to cue up all your ringtones then fill the evening air with screaming tones. That should startle and at least make someone think twice of robbing you :P.
9. Can't pinpoint where you are? If you want to direct authorities to your location but you're on vacation or at a friend's place GPS functions serve to pinpoint your exact locale. It takes an extra moment to access but if you're not in any danger it may save in response time.
10. ICE - In Case of Emergency. This is not directly related to fighting crime but is a method of helping emergency workers identify who to call on your phone. Some people have started the trend of putting ICE as a name in their phonebooks so authorities know who to call if you're unable.

In case you're in the mood for some light-hearted ways to fight crime with your cell phone here are some favorites. Add some more if you wish.

Top [Funny] Ways to Fight Crime With Your Cell Phones

1. Call the police when you see your neighbors selling their children on the black market in exchange for a truck-load of government cheese.
2. Use your phone as a dangerous projectile when the leprechauns try to light your garden hose on fire.
3. When in the convenience store, play the Mexican Hat dance song at a distractingly loud volume so as to prevent those shady looking teenagers from stealing those mood rings off the counter.
4. The razr phone--come on! Chop up your would be assailant with this wafer thin phone.
5. Older candy bar style cell phones pack heat--weight heat that is. Most are the size of bricks or at least weigh the same. Use your unusually hot retro phone as a heat seeking projectile to fend off would be assailants.
6. What are cell phone antennas really for? Fewer and fewer phones these days have them so I'm convinced it's a left over features from cold-war era phones that required eye gouging features.
7. Take pictures of the guy that's always licking the windows of the Pizza place after it's closed. Send pictures to police. This may not be a crime, but darn it, it should be.
8. Use your phone to notify police in instances of bad politician impressions.
9. Use the light on your phone to summon Batman for bat-like circumstances when you need a bat-friend with a sweet cape and leather face-mask to fight crime. Leather fights crime like nothing else.
10. The video camera can record all the illegal goings-on of your coworkers. Like when they steal office supplies or hum the words to Backstreet Boys songs...with actions...in the privacy of their own cubicle. This will be blackmail footage in the future. Wait, wasn't this a fight crime article?

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